I eat off the spoons
Of dead people
Sleep on the sheets
Of those who have bled
The food tastes of nothing
The sleep
The sleep
Is not real
Nothing
Every muscle aches from waiting
Ultimatum
Run or die
Run or die
They say the spoons and sheets
Are saving
Me
And yet
They do not know
Me
I destruct
Destroy
Decompensate
Quietly
So very quietly
In room 27
Thinking
But
Not
When you are nothing you cannot think
But it is the only thing left to do
The thoughts are discounted
On top
The lank hair
Of the man
Who does not feel
As he squints and watches
This thing
Die
In room 27
How clever you all are
Give yourself a round of applause
She is alive
On the outside
Like a carnival trick
I used to write like the mirror
I was not stuck within in it
Blood churns upwards
Into throat
Coming out
Burning
Red
In the bowl
Where ants and mayflies dance and gorge on my disappearance
Like you
You
Fuckers
Murderers
Rapists
Smiling as you drain me dry
Ultimatum
Always
Run or die
Run or die.
first two lines are a real shock to the system but a totally original thought. I do like how your words stick in my head and make me think
ReplyDeleteThanks Dandelion Girl..hope they don't stick around for too long though ;)
Deleteyou do not die you survive and in that you defeat them You live your life and find joy and defeat them.Hugs
ReplyDeleteThat's the best goal to have..thank you Sheilagh..
DeleteOh, goodness, Jae. Your strong words are so powerful... knocked me off my chair. Hope everything's okay for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie - things could be better but i am still writing..so that's good..
DeleteThis was really powerful. You have quite a way with words.
ReplyDeleteThank you Aurora..
DeleteRoom 27 is so bitter. Run! Run so we can hear more from the living-inside-and-out you.
ReplyDeleteRun indeed..i will miss both my Alice's - you (and pocket Alice) when I can't blog for a while)..we will be back as fast as our sore little toes will carry us..
DeleteI'll miss you, too.
DeleteSo strong, the sentiment. No mistaking the anger and resentment. No misunderstanding the need to be elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteNo - funny how anger and fear can sometimes generate absoulte clarity..thank you Kim.. x
DeleteWow, it doesn't seem quite right to say "i love it" about a poem that's topic is so morbid or complicated but.. I do love it anyway! I mean, I really read emotion in this poem and that's what artistry is all about. Let's run, Jae Rose!
ReplyDeleteRunning with you Aprilific..thank you..
DeleteThe words are poignant, powerful, cutting but they are wrong, there is no-one more alive inside than you to write such words as these.
ReplyDeleteThank you Thank you Old Egg..
DeleteThis is a brutal one, Jae. Brilliant but brutal. I hope you took a lot of artistic license!
ReplyDeleteI guess there must always be a little however real it feels and pours out on the page..thank you Ann..
DeleteI think I'll run Jae into that carnival trick box where nothing goes wrong and all things sort out ultimately!!!!
ReplyDeleteWise choice..thank you Nanka..
DeleteSounds like the old British Navy.Sailors who could not swim were thrown into the sea...they either worked out how to swim or they drowned.My grandfather told me this. He could swim....so can you!
ReplyDeleteThanks Rallentanda..like Pincher Martin I am just floating on the surface at the moment wondering whether to take the boots off..or leave them on..
DeleteNow then Jae. On your mark, get set, GO! Run like Hell, and keep running; and keep writing too.
ReplyDeleteWe are primed..thank you Altonian..the best way to run is slowly..the faster you move the more people notice..we will creep..creepily..cunningly out of this..shh..and thanks..
DeleteYour feelings are expressed so strongly in this poem! I hope Room 27 will be history soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary..it just depends if the next room is even worse..sorry i haven't visited you for a while x
DeleteDear Jae You write of things most do not know. You speak for others....you say you are stuck in the mirror, maybe that is a safe place right now? The most important words are, you are alive, you have your own thoughts, you will beat them, stay safe.....hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you Annell..especially for the hugs.. x
DeleteAwesome...simply awesome...I have read it 5 times...
ReplyDeleteThank you Old Grizz..that's beyond the call of duty..very much appreciated..
DeleteThe carnival trick box beats Room 27 every time, Jae. The only part of this I didn't like was when you refer to yourself as "nothing," and you know what I'm gonna say about that:
ReplyDeleteYOU AAAAARE SOME-BODY!!!
And a fabulous somebody at that. The visuals were disturbing right around the bloody mouth section, but hey, that's what happens when you fly with the good poets, right? Love you. Amer
THANK YOOUU Amy.. floundering but trying to let the words still flutter around..hugs back x
Delete