The whole thing is to make sure you’re ok.
They say that to the pretty girl.
The girl who had something to lose.
I linger in the chiropody clinic.
The waiting room with no windows.
OK isn’t even a five.
Nothing creeps up that far.
Five days to get through.
Two to ignore.
Everything spins but doesn’t dance.
My eyes get closer to the ground.
Outlined in black.
Lost in the middle.
Hazy like the sun I dodge every time I leave the house.
I am disappeared but nobody knows.
There was no existence to begin with.
I am a fabrication.
Adamant to forget who I might be.
In my dreams I visit the new shop.
It is full of doors and the escalator doesn’t work.
You have to walk on it like a treadmill and you can’t find the beans.
The doors lead out onto landings.
From one I can see the sea.
The door is oak.
It is old and bruised.
Beside the sea is a white cottage. Maybe for a fisherman.
I miss the sea.
I cannot go home and feel it.
Although home on the map is only 20 minutes away.
The peculiar place from where I came.
The place which made me but does not want me.
I go through many doors.
Up and down.
I expect the new shop to be shiny and efficient.
But the one I visit is confused.
Each door a thought.
Each landing a decision.
I get stuck in the shop I have never visited.
There are many people there but I pass them like a counter sliding off a ‘snakes and ladders’ board.
Like the little snakes in the pet shop window.
Shoe laces with no shoes. No legs to run away.
I look for faces.
Hands.
I am shopping for an invisible.
The whole thing is to make sure you’re OK.
I cannot imagine a place. A time. When those words will be given to me.
Having been guilty of saying "Just making sure you are OK" I can really feel for your character that confronts each problem and translates it with the last remnants of her sanity, which to others will seem quite insane. The telling phrase was that of the shoelaces without shoes being little snakes that couldn't run away without legs. Sad too is the home that doesn't want her anymore. When she sees the oak door old and bruised is she looking in a mirror?
ReplyDeleteLots of great word pictures for us to ponder on in this one.
Each door a thought.
ReplyDeleteEach landing a decision.
Love that, as it is so easy to become paralyzed by the smallest thought or decision.
Very nice.
As I follow you, I think what an interesting life she leads. Your words make me know you are OK, I image a parade and you are in front!
ReplyDeleteDream ... or trip-like, it pulls you in and races you through!
ReplyDeletePerhaps, one day, if the chiropodist does his work well, you will be able to walk away strongly to where you want to be.
ReplyDeleteThank you OldEgg - your 'OK's' are always well placed and well meant - not about you Christopher Robin as Pooh would say..seems at times like everything can be a mirror whether it's made of glass or not..
ReplyDeleteYes indeed, thank you Jerry..
Thank you Annell - like a soldier (but hopefully not a 'Nutcracker!')..
Not a good one at that! Darn..at least we got to the end quickly..
Thanks Altonian..yes hadn't thought of what the chiropodist means..strong feet to walk away..hmm..maybe it's worth the wait..
Jae :)
Sheilagh Lee said: Wow. you left me speechless for moment this is so stirring and moving.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sheilagh..Jae ;)
ReplyDeleteYou always make me sit amazed after i read you..no different this time.. this is extremely good.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ramesh..your posts always make me :) Jae
ReplyDeleteYou left me speechless...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, poignant piece straight from the heart, I can tell. Love "I get stuck in the shop I have never visited."
ReplyDeleteYou have a true gift here... thanks for sharing it!
~laurie
Jae, I have been this girl. I know this place, although the exact details differ. I crawled out and yet am drawn back to it time after time, because there is fascination in those otherworlds.
ReplyDeleteMasterful and moving. Love you! Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/06/all-in-a-name-3ww-npwm-6/
A great write Jae.:-)
ReplyDeleteAs always I loved the imagery and especially liked . . .
"Like the little snakes in the pet shop window.
Shoe laces with no shoes. No legs to run away."
"The whole thing is to make sure you’re OK.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine a place. A time. When those words will be given to me."
This cuts like a knife Jae. I always feel such grief for your characters. They seem like ghosts waiting to be set free to the next realm. Well done, as always.
Very sad and true. There are too many who are
ReplyDeletecastaways floating on the ocean on a flimsy raft.This is when being a nutcracker can be useful:)
"Everything spins but doesn't dance." In one sentence, you have summed up the lives of millions of people. And the intricate image of the snakes, like shoelaces without shoes, that cannot run away. How do you do it, Jae? Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThank you so Gautami..
ReplyDeleteThank you Laurie -glad you came and shared too..
Thank you Amy..they are seductive aren't they..I guess we all have our own exit ramps..but we can only drive up them when we're ready..looking forward to that day when it's all viewed in the rear-view mirror..
Thank you Susannah :) My view of snakes changed with these little ones...although the bravery stops way behind a window and a sturdy vivarium..
Thank you as always VL..ghost is a great word..
Thank you Rallentanda..always useful to be a nutcracker!
Thank you so Nico..I have no idea!..
Jae :)
An amazing write, Jae! Wrapped up so beautifully!
ReplyDeleteShort Poems
Thanks Marinela..neatly packed in a shopping bag..Jae :)
ReplyDeleteThere's some psycho punch in this. Mind-stirring, in a good way.
ReplyDeleteI'll keep your blog handy. Thanks
Thank you Arian - hope to see you again! Jae
ReplyDeleteAh, the doors... They are always an opportunity either accepted or denied to you. I've been there, I know that. The old, bruised door was the one that stood out to me. It's the one opportunity you always beat yourself up over that you let go and can no longer get back. My mental hallways are FULL of those!
ReplyDeleteGreat piece again Jae, you (as always) hit it out of the park with your apostate beans ;)
Thanks Leiffy - Gotta love those beans..Jae :)
ReplyDelete