Locked In

I am outside
But I am locked in
Sullen
Like the rocks in my pockets
Holding me down
Keeping me moving
Dragging my feet
Drenched in time
In space
One step forward
Two steps back
A body raked over pins and filthy floors
I wish for the comfort of the bench
The love of powder
So clean
So bright
It is all of me
All of me that I trust
My lips are bruised with wasted time
Wasted words
My silence
My life
Waits amidst the thorns
waiting waiting like a station of the cross
I walk by
Do not look into the eyes of the deceivers
The ones that planted the rocks
Breath itself is a punch so brutal
When I cannot reach that thing I need
When I cannot be me
I sink inside
I disappear
I think I think
that
I have seen enough time pass.
I am outside
But I am locked in.