We drink sugared coffee
In the bath tub
She hugs her knees
Traps the bubbles
In her fingers
Sings a broken blessing
How long now
She asks
Looking up
It’s hard to break
Her prayers and wishes
Not long
Little cricket
Not long
Her body cracks
Like plaster
Cooking in the sun
Quick sticks
Flies
Pies
Cherry lip lies
We have to get ready
For what
The push
The price
The crash
The fall
As if you don’t know
Silly
You really are quite mad
She giggles
The water rings
The plughole sings
Resting on the feet of angels
Look I’m one dimensional
She squeals
Buzzing like a paper plane
A chill creeps like mist
Glues discs to bones
We are stuck stuck sticky
Not a care to gloss over diverse
Don’t despair she squeals
Hanging out with tawny owl
It’s a terrible bore being lucid
Far more fun to sing and play
She pulls her hair
Sweet strawberries on the vine
Curtain tassels looking out
Remember our pact
To never come back
We come down fast
Like failed apostles
I remember I say
Holding her hand
We close our eyes
Sugar glowing rich in our veins
She sings
Down came the rain and washed the spiders out
Out came the sun and dried up all the pain.
That longing for better times comes though this poem of past memories, all the childhood allusions, rhymes and sweetness that are recalled. Curiously both the rain and the sun are the positive signs that all will be well. Spellbinding as always Jae.
ReplyDeleteBetter times would indeed be good thank you Old Egg.. i am glad the sun and rain were hopeful.. :)
DeleteDon’t despair she squeals
ReplyDeleteHanging out with tawny owl
It’s a terrible bore being lucid
Far more fun to sing and play
This is absolutely beautiful writing Jae, I can sense the raw emotions flowing through these lines.. love how you have described the internal struggle that we go through as we push past the pain. Thank you so much for participating at Prompt Nights and for your constant love and support.
Lots of love,
Sanaa
Thank you Sanaa - i really didn't know where tawny would fit it so am glad it turned into an imaginary tawny owl!
DeleteSanaa has chosen one of my favorite parts of this poem of yours, and the old idea of the rain washing our pain away, which it does if only momentarily. Special,,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Linda - yes a refreshing washing away can often be needed
DeleteI think we're all going to relate to the lines Sanaa picked out! (Smile.)
ReplyDeleteI particularly love the final word, changed so aptly from the old rhyme.
Thank you Rosemary - and for spotting Incy Wincy ;)
DeleteOh my word, from She pulls her hair" through to the ending ... wow, that's good.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jessa
Deleteit's hard to get over that creepy feel of chill with broken blessing and failed apostles..but thank god there's the 'story book pilgrim' to squeal not to despair...beautiful, as always Jae...
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you as always Sumana - yes..once again Alice keeps despair just a little more at bay
DeleteIt’s a terrible bore being lucid
ReplyDeleteFar more fun to sing and play
... I agree!!!!
It’s a terrible bore being lucid
ReplyDeleteFar more fun to sing and play
-- Totally agree!
;) Thank you thotpurge - as long as it's still fun it's good
DeleteI'm getting a feeling of a lost childhood through your words, Jae, wanting to be childlike all over again. I like it.
ReplyDeleteOr even childlike for the first time - thank you for your insightful comment Tom
Delete"In the bath tub
ReplyDeleteShe hugs her knees
Traps the bubbles
In her fingers
Sings a broken blessing"
This creates a nice imagery, and I like the idea of singing a broken blessing. Sometimes, you need to do that. Beautiful composition, Jae! :)
I think so! Thank you kindly Tarang :)
DeleteThe gloss of play is still a thin veneer that barely covers the serious moments (oh that tawny owl... ). Still so much to love in that play.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bjorn - i guess true play just is and doesn't require explanation..veneer is the perfect word
Deletetoo many lyrical images to comment on Jae-Rose but like the water down the plughole bathtime fun ended with one of my favourite images
ReplyDelete"We come down fast
Like failed apostles"
Thank you telltale - we like the down the plughole feel too - our heads are very full!
DeleteI kept on repeating the first stanza Jae. It gave a happy feeling. Thr images there are that of innocence. Kind of throwback to childhood.
ReplyDeleteThe last two lines made me smile too, hopeful despite of the struggles beforehand.
Nice to read you again.
And very good to see you again thank you Totomai.. sugary coffee is a nice start to any day - and i am glad the parting lines seemed hopeful :)
DeleteIndeed sometimes it is a bore being lucid. Lucid is highly over-rated. More fun to sing and play when one can. Why not! Life is too short not to enjoy when the opportunity is there.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely - as long as it does no damage ;) Thank you kindly Mary - i loved your poem and photo - really cheered me up
DeleteI'm so pleased you didn't both swim with the water rings and sing as you went down the plug hole! Delicious, delightful de-everything!
ReplyDeleteJoin the Pie Party!
Thank you most deliciously, delightfully and de-everythingly Keith!
DeleteP.S. Jae......I finally had time to comment on your wonderful interview at Poets United after having been out of touch some days.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Mary - i will check back!
DeleteI like the religious connotations...failed apostles, resting on the feet of angels, prayers and broken blessings. I wonder what this poem is really about.Did you have a religious experience in the bath? (chortles)
ReplyDeleteMe too if I'm honest Rallentanda - sadly no bath-tub epiphanies.. just bubbles and coffee.. sigh.. thank you :)
DeleteA lovely evocation- so many rich and powerful lines here - loved it...
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Scott
Delete"failed apostles" is starkly dark and quite scary to me. Ah but the sun came out. I'll accept that as a happy ever after story.
ReplyDeleteHave a good Sunday Jae
Much love...
Thank you Gillena - i think finding the sun is for the best :)
DeleteBaths and friendships and brief respites from pain are all good prelude (and antidote) to an occasional lucidity. Thanks for weaving us this "Crack" and letting the light in. You might enjoy my poem today at my other blog: http://susan60.blogspot.com/2016/05/oh-ye-of-little-faith.html?spref=fb
ReplyDeleteWe will treasure that prelude and antidote - thank you kindly Susan..and for the link to your poem
DeleteOh my, this poem hits my heart. Such brilliant lines: "Resting on the feet of angels", and "We come down fast like failed apostles." May the sun come out and dry up all the pain, my friend......I love the tawny owl in your poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sherry - i am sure the sun will come..eventually..we crossed tawny owls - that's a nice thought xo
Delete"Far more fun to sing and play," and that is what you do...tag it to realism just a little...all a game, a puzzle, just for fun! Loved it!
ReplyDeleteThank you Annell - fair to say we can create a puzzle out of thin air ;) we are pickles..thank you kindly xo
Deleteah, it sounds rather cheerful today!
ReplyDeletethe last few lines told me so. :)
I guess relatively it may well be more cheerful! Thank you ds :)
Delete"You really are quite mad
ReplyDeleteShe giggles
The water rings
The plughole sings" my favorite (out of many) lines... I think we all are mad in some way so giggle and enjoy it. I really like this one, Jae
It would be quite abnormal not to be a little cuckoo :-) we shall enjoy the better parts of that - thank you kindly Debi
DeleteI really think this is one of your best poems. It's so complex and in-depth. Mainly, I can't get over the photo you put in, and how this relates to the poem, and enriches and complicates it. A lot here...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Matthew - and for noticing the photo - one of my favourite places to sit and think.. And enrich and complicate seem just right!
DeleteAbsolutely brilliant Jae Rose....looking for that sweet time from long ago as you bring back images of childhood....and the last lines are perfection....especially changing the last word....brighter days are still to be found in the sun and rain as they wash us clean again to start anew....big hugs!
ReplyDeleteDonna@LivingfromHappiness
I do hope so - that's the great thing about 'out there' it gives us rain and sun...when we are ready to look up - thank you kindly Donna and hugs back
Delete"It’s a terrible bore being lucid". I love this line, and believe it... it might be the reason why I'm always looking for the high provided by words--reading or writing them. Escaping into a better place, a lovely place... what a treat... even if we have to come back to reality every now and again.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely Magaly - as long as there is milk in the fridge and tea in the pot there's nothing better than having a natural word high...thank you kindly ❤️
DeleteYour words never fail to move me...they always seem to hold such sadness, even when they speak of bright and bubbly things XXX
ReplyDeleteThank you Gina - mixed up blue bubbles...glad there are still bubbly things though - thank you!
DeleteYour work always speaks to me--there is a sadness underneath--that I feel--and it creates so much emotional complexity in your work--always a gift!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Audrey...sadness always seems to find a place..thank you for your gift of a comment too
DeleteI can't add much to the previous comments. Your poem touches me with sadness. That is your gift - to be able to extract emotions, to make me closer to understanding the writer and her Alice.
ReplyDeleteThank you Myrna - you always add yourself to the comments - that is a lot - thank you for keeping getting to know us
DeleteThe images dart around with amazing agility!
ReplyDeleteThank you Colonialist - our images are far more nimble than us ;) (great phrase)
DeleteYou begin in the tub and end with the sun drying up the pain. This one is about cleansing. And your cleanser is the words you wield with such delightful imagery. Lucidity is not always fun, but play is the best leveler. Your play always has purpose and meaning, may it always be so. Hugs to both of you,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Thank you Elizabeth - as always the obvious slipped by like a bar of soap so thank you - and we hope we can all play with words for a long time to come - hugs back xo
DeleteIt’s a terrible bore being lucid
ReplyDeleteFar more fun to sing and play
One need not be serious about things. It is nice to be playful at certain times. Rightly so Jae!
Hank
Thank you very much Hank - absolutely!
DeleteThe closing couplet in this, in so evocative. It struck me as a verse a caregiver would whisper to reassure a child that all will be well. But, of course, as most adults know ... that is often not the case. If only wishing made it so. sigh.
ReplyDeleteThank you Wendy - perhaps even if we know we still need to hear it however old we are.. all our good wishes back thank you
DeleteAnother beautifully set of emotions in this, Jae. I couldn't help but find coincidence in the beginning today. I had taken my daughter to McCafe for afternoon tea this weekend and as we were setting up, she knelt down on the stool and started to do a broken version of the Lord's prayer and sign of the crucifix, that she had been learning at her school, before eating her Happy Meal. Your first lines sent me into this recent flashback.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad this led to a happy flashback (McCafe is great;) - your comment made me think also how we learn things slightly 'wrong' as children but it sticks and what could be generic McCafe becomes meaningful for for us and those who love us - thank you kindly Luk Lei
DeleteYour writing is beautiful and deep, Jae. In this piece especially, I can feel all different kinds of emotion, and the end, "Down came the rain and washed the spiders out
ReplyDeleteOut came the sun and dried up all the pain" made me sigh and smile reassured.
Thank you so much Khaya - and glad you left with a :-)
DeleteSometimes we need to be childlike and believe...Out came the sun and dried up all the pain. Lovely!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely - thank you very much :)
DeleteWater is so healing. I hope the protagonists find their peace and healing together.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that wish Rommy
DeleteI can feel every emotion and the consequences of them in this Jae. Now that I know more about you I can almost read you within your work. You make it all sound so beautiful. That last line brings me back to earth.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bekkie - consequences of emotion - what a shining thought.. I suppose if we didn't turn it into words it would be too much earth to handle. Thank you for taking time to understand
DeleteI think one of the most appealing aspects of your poetry is that we (the readers) can see ourselves in the situations you describe: the bathtub, for example, and then you take you imagery to the abstract, so all at once the experience seems so unique and magical.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Kerry - much appreciated.. made me think of being young and spending hours entertaining myself inside a cardboard box - in some ways things don't change although the grey hairs catch up with us
Delete