I see the single white rose in the garden.
It struggles in the concrete
But looks strong
Like a breach in the fury
Tentatively holding onto air
My back aches
My letters ache
My being aches
I fall off the pillows
They wake me
Put my head straight
Moving my head knocks away the embers of my dreams
I apologise
For sleeping dangerously
I awake to hard feet
Yellow letters dropping through the doors of a home I no longer inhabit
That has gone
i am losing everything i am losing everything
A cascade of shit writing itself in the dark.
idonotbelongidonotbelongidonotbelong
I smell of bodies eating themselves up yesterday’s stir fry and shit
It filters up the drains
gathers on my skin and hair
impossible to shake off
I see their soda bottles behind the wall
They think that nobody knows
I see
Soon I will know
I keep the white rose a secret
A little marker
A little soda bottle
In which to cast away the yellow letters
In which to force myself up for air.
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21 comments:
Packed full of emotion and vivid images, Jae; I do hope you are okay.
Jae the three words have been used so very well ~ "breach in the fury", "Tentatively holding onto air", and "embers of my dreams" The beauty of the dream is revival, a restoration of the body of mental vigor, and to life itself!!
Wow, what a powerful write. This poem has such an impact. Fantastic writing.
Thank you Laurie..I don't think you can be totally okay here..but I still have my blog..phew
Thanks Nanka..sometimes it is easier to fit the words in than others..
Thank you Sherry
Jae
The white rose something kept only for yourself helps
I have, at my lowest points, been grateful to find at least one thing wondrous to keep me afloat. Thank the universe for that white rose. Despite hardship and harsh conditions, she grows; she blossoms, she gifts the world with fragrance and beauty. She fulfills her highest potential. Thank the universe for the white rose, and the knowledge that each of us is capable of even more.
jaerose, your recent poetry of loss and isolation are rendering me to tears and yet
there is a beauty only your talent and heart
can articulate.
peace to you beautiful jaerose.
And we plunge into the depths. Wonderful, vivid imagery. Your stuff is always so powerful.
You are like that white rose. You too are strong enough to bear the temporary inconvenience of being away from home in a hostile environment. In the sadness of your writing I can see so many positives. Let us blow gently on those embers and you will light up the world.
What a beautiful, brilliant, powerful and heart-wrenching poem. Yes, that white rose -- I think of it as peace, as inner calm to be tapped in any storm.
Yeah, brilliant writing, the words take on a life of their own and allow you to rise above your situation!
Well told!
The white rose is your unconscious thought seeking out the hope from among the dreary despair. It is the symbol of all that is good against a life of all that is bad. Although it isn't yours it's yours because it's your thoughts alone that own it.
I agree with Old Egg, I too sense such a strength in you Jae, a sense of knowing not where you are in your present but, a knowing of exactly where you intend to be in your future. You can and will make it happen, because you'll wish it to be so.
I so admire your talent. It's so raw and so real and therefore has such honesty in its lines.
A true gift your words are, and as such, are you.
Emotional. Beautiful. I just want you to knhow that i appreciate your poetry. Your realness. Your honesty. YOU!
Thank you Sheilagh..yes, clutching it tightly..
Thank you Kim..words can be the sledgehammer needed to fight your way up through the concrete..hopefully after you've hammered your way out you can enjoy the air up there..
Thank you beautiful Shauna..
Plunge indeed! Thanks Alice..
Thank you OldEgg..as ever..and always..
Thank you Thomma..good to see you..
Thank you Andy..
Thank you Daydreamer..all words are gifts..maybe..your praise is like sun on my roots..
Thank YOU too Mary..
Jae
for me to say words, it would be shy of the target. I sit and see "The Rose".
I love the image of the white rose amid the decay, the mundane, and the negative. Where would any of us be without out white roses?
"I keep the white rose a secret"
It's important to keep secrets, Jae.
hang on to the picture of the white rose. hang on to anything that breaches concrete - words, weeds, air.
Dear Jae The white rose is you in so many ways. The rose is brilliant and strong, as you are, and no matter what, or how hard it gets, there you are, strong, shining, and beautiful. You and your writing is amazing. Yes, sometimes we have to suffer, how else are we to know? I love this write, it is wonderful! I am always amazed! You are an alchemist, you can turn anything into gold! And this write proves it!
hug
Thank you Glenn..hadn't even made the connection..
Yes that's true Ann..thank you..a white bunny is even better!
Yes, sometimes it is..thanks VL..
Thank you Dee..I am trying.. :)
Thank you Annell..very much..
hug back Lucy..
Jae
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