I throw away my name like candy on a path.
It means nothing.
I ate through my veins trying to find you.
That is what is real.
You listened to me on the phone.
You thought I spoke nicely.
Now I rarely speak at all.
And I am not nice.
Except I am -
Nice.
The man in the shop saw.
He said you are far too nice.
To do this.
To be this.
He filled my day.
I carried home the blue package with his words wrapped around it like a bow.
Maybe there are still riches left inside.
No quite buried in the dirt. The veins. The powder.
It is hard to wash the dirt off.
It lingers.
Persuasive.
Unyeilding.
Unforgiving.
There are people who are meant to wipe it away but they dare not touch.
Because I am not nice.
Because if they touch me my dirt might follow them home.
I might become real.
To you I will always be the same person.
Trapped in amber.
The one whose name you read out loud.
What a fine surname you said.
And I felt so happy you saw me.
My hair. My smile. My clean, white shoes.
You do not know that my veins are gone.
That my face is no longer a reflection of yours.
That it is not even the face of the old name.
I trap my dirt in a dustpan.
Collect the candy.
Mop the path.
It is so very tiring sweeping up.
The exhaustion so loud it eats through me too.
On Sunday you come back.
I stick you on the cupboard alongside the five reasons.
You are number six.
Your smile gets me through to Monday.
I look at you there.
A cool glass of lemonade waiting by the side of this dirty path.
Like candy.
Like veins.
I still love you.
Now I rarely speak at all.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am not nice.
Except I am -
Nice.
The man in the shop saw.
He said you are far too nice.
To do this.
To be this.
He filled my day.
I carried home the blue package with his words wrapped around it like a bow.
Wow. this says so much! I love the struggle with nice and the many different shadows of meaning she gives it...also the kind words like a bow, and later like a cool glass of lemonade.
Concise, complex, layered and compelling ... and as always requires another couple of reads through to assimilate it all :o)
ReplyDeleteHmmm, this has some vivid moments and colors to it, which is what I can expect. The world is a bit gray but the swathes of color that stand out in the worlds you create are startling. Great, evocative piece... But then you usually have some great pieces like this. Thanks for sharing, my dear Jae!
ReplyDeleteThis piece has a crisp beat about it, almost like a racing heartbeat, interfered with, out of control. Underneath it all is the pain of loss, the irrecoverable loss, the need to hide it all, to be someone different that doesn't feel the pain anymore, but it is too late for that. Even a pitying smile, a misunderstood expression is taken as a kindness, nothing is real anymore.
ReplyDeleteYou capture her imperfections perfectly
Thank you Lilibeth - it's not a simple word is it..'nice'..
ReplyDeleteThank you Deborah - I need to do the same! ;)
Thank you Leiffy as ever..nice to share the colour..
Thank you OldEgg..no, not real at all - you sum it up perfectly..her 'imperfections'..
Jae
yes, you are nice, whether you speak or not,,,
ReplyDeleteThought-provoking and vivid piece. I enjoyed reading through the layers, as I feel this has a much deeper meaning.
ReplyDelete~laurie
Thank you Glenn - very nice of you to say!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Laurie..
Jae ;)
A Breakup is an old theme in poetry and it's benn done and over done but your poetry brings it alive again! Everything is fresh and deep and the images are like little fireworks going off in my mind!
ReplyDeleteNice people like you Jae Rose, deserve ribbon packaged words, lots of smiles and tall glasses of cool lemonade with tinkling ice cubes.
ReplyDeleteSheilagh lee said: wow deep compelling and the pain comes through so clearly.
ReplyDeleteThank you Linda - can I offer you a glass of lemonade to quench the fireworks!
ReplyDeleteThank you Rallentanda..mmm ice too...
Thank you Sheilagh..
Jae ;)
So many questions after reading this one, Jae!
ReplyDeleteMe too..thanks Kim..
ReplyDeleteYou are so deep. I got several different scenarios from this one.
ReplyDeleteThought-provoking as usual :)
I ate through my veins trying to find you, a chilling vision of unrequited love perhaps? your writing is very rich.
ReplyDeleteYou created so many scenes before my eyes through your magical words :)
ReplyDeleteIntense and wonderfully written :D
Thank you very much Ren, Christine and 'dialogue'....
ReplyDeleteJae
Try meeting more men in more shops, and then believing what they tell you. You are obviously very, very 'nice', and deserve to have your self-esteem bolstered more. Wonderful, but difficult words.
ReplyDeleteyou never fail to disappoint. So rich, so layered so much going on that you want to read, over and over again.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done Jae.
ReplyDeleteBest line--"I might become real." How often do we refuse to see the pain of others for fear of becoming involved? This is one heavy poem, Jae. Fine job, again.
ReplyDeleteswept away by those images....
ReplyDeleteThank you Altonian - I shall linger in the supermarket..which aisle would invite the most trustworthy people?
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Thom..
Thank you VL..
Thank you MsPie..
Jae :)
Sorry Nico - how could I miss out a thank you for your fantastic comment too!
ReplyDeleteVivid imagery, Jae.
ReplyDeleteVery well done. :-)
Thanks for stopping by!
I love some of the images here and the simple, downhill flow of the language and pace... but I am not entirely sure what's going on. Would like to get a bit of a clearer picture out of it. I feel a bit like you've posed me a puzzle that I can't figure out. But in a beautiful way. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Sau..and thank you Peter - it's a puzzle for me too! Jae :)
ReplyDeleteHello again Jae, I would suggest the aisles where they are selling washing-up liquids, or baked beans - mundane, but safe and possibly magical.
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming back Altonian! I agree and was thinking the cleaning aisle..single but resourceful..baked beans (small cans - single..but prepared for an apocalypse)..Jae :)
ReplyDeleteGreat imagery Jae ... wonderful work! Love the voice of this poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you JP..Jae :)
ReplyDelete